Ask Peter: Convincing the Spouse

Hi Peter,
I bought some poplar from you for hives a few weeks ago. I’m presently busy milling the lumber- I don’t know why I don’t pay you to do it… the job always ends up taking me about 20 minutes a board foot, what with cleaning and rearranging the shop, resetting the breakers, taking out splinters, refilling the kerosene heater, putting out the fires, etc.

I have a few more questions re: beekeeping, e.g. how does one convince one’s wife they are not certifiably insane for wanting to keep insects prone to stinging nearby when one’s annual honey consumption is about a pound and a half, and said spouse doesn’t eat any?


Dear Dick,
This spousal problem will resolve itself in time. First get your bees. Your wife will spend several hours reviewing the marital vows looking for loopholes. Eventually you’ll come home with eyes swollen shut and a bee venom “buzz.” She’ll smugly think to herself, “I told him so.” You’ll be thinking, “So this is why guys keep bees.” If swollen eyes and a venom buzz aren’t  enough, buy the Hive-Making Manual ($22.00 includes shipping). Adding splinters to your hands and near misses with your table saw will make your good beekeeping experience great.

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